My Wife Won't Orgasm During Oral Sex Unless I Finger Her—Why?
Cultura RM/Jamie Kingham
Apparently the G-spot isn't real. So why does my wife orgasm from oral sex only when I, uh, bring in digital reinforcement?
A: That's true: It's not an actual spot, and nobody goes there anymore. The G-spot was recently down- or upgraded—however you'd like to frame it—to what is now being called the G-region, which has grown to encompass a larger share of the anterior pelvic area and boasts a slew of great sex organs and, I'm told, a new Dave & Buster's. Your wife is likely very able to reach orgasm without your digital enhancement or you at all, but "may have a psychological block," says endocrinologist and sexologist Emmanuele A. Jannini of the University of Rome Tor Vergata. He says she could be holding onto the Freudian notion that vaginal orgasms are "mature" and clitoral ones are "immature." (You don't say if she's holding onto Freud or anyone else, so I can't tell you for sure.) However, brain studies have confirmed that female orgasms have multiple origins, and in a survey of 128 women, 94 percent said they had orgasms that came from the clitoris, 63 percent said the vagina, and 35 percent said the cervix. The fact that it adds up to 192 percent tells me nothing about math. What it does tell me is that while her orgasms may originate in her clitoris, she's hoping the other gals will "lean in" and get involved, like in that Facebook lady's book. (Is that what it's about? I didn't read it.) Still another problem could be that you're "not licking hard enough," as Rutgers psychologist Barry Komisaruk surmises. Are you licking hard enough? It wouldn't hurt to ask. I've only ever heard your style described as "tentative, with a vague disgruntlement" by some of her friends and a few blogs, but whether she can't or won't, your wife just isn't going to, so you need to give 192 percent as well. Digital reinforcement, the cavalry, a MASH unit—call in whatever you need.
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